The time between a death and a funeral can vary depending on several factors. Have you chosen cremation or burial?  Do you have family coming into town?  When is your minister available?  Is the cemetery available?  The answers to these types of questions play a role in determining when you can have your service.

We live in a society that wants instant results. We have more time saving devices than ever, yet we never have time.  I want my popcorn in 2 1/2 minutes.  I want my car washed in 5 minutes without lifting a finger.  When I lived in California, one of my favorite fast food restaurants was Jack in the Box.  I remember how angry I would get sitting in the drive thru as I waited for 7 minutes because they wouldn’t make it until I ordered it.  7 minutes in a drive thru!?!?!  Absurd…ya, I know.

Unfortunately, this mentality has migrated from menial everyday tasks to things that are really important. People don’t have time for family dinner anymore.  We don’t have time for our kids.  We don’t have time for our God.  We don’t have time for our parents.  And apparently, we don’t have time for funerals.  This was never more apparent to me then a time I walked into a house at 2 a.m. after a death had occurred.  The wife of the deceased told me she’d “swing by” at 8 a.m. to pick up his cremains.

Where do these kinds of expectations come from?

First of all, people are uniformed. We are talking about the disposition of a human body.  There are legal documents to be filled out, information to be gathered, agencies to be notified, and contracts to be signed.  Cremation does not take place immediately.  As a matter of fact, there are 3 things that have to take place in the state of Arkansas before we can proceed with cremation.

1. There is a 24 hour waiting period that must be fulfilled
2. A temporary death certificate must be signed by a certifier. (ie. Dr., Hospice Nurse, Coroner.)
3. We must have a Cremation Authorization Form signed by the legal next of kin.

Secondly, people feel like WE need them to rush. It almost feels like they think they are doing me a favor by getting things done quickly.  Let me make something clear.  Your loved one, in my care, is NOT an inconvenience.  This is why I am here; to take proper care of the deceased, and more importantly, to take care of the living who were affected by the passing.  That means I’m ready and willing to wait as long as we need to, in order to celebrate this life properly.  We are not going to charge you by the day like so many other funeral homes do…we are dedicated to doing this right, for YOU.

Thirdly, people think the quicker they get this done, the better. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard phrases like, “I just need to get this over with” or “we need to get this behind us.”

What is the rush? Seriously.  What in the world is the rush?  We are talking about honoring a life here.  Someone you love, someone you saw every day…is gone.  The person you leaned on, the person you opened your heart to, the person who knew all of your secrets…they are gone.  I realize we don’t have time for anything these days, but I contend that the death of your husband, your mother, your child, warrants a period where we stop, slow down, and take our time to process this monumental event and honor a life that was well lived.

As a pastor, I offer you this advice. SLOW DOWN.  As a son who has lost a father, I offer you this advice.  SLOW DOWN.  And as a funeral director who oversees the aftercare of almost 600 deaths a year, I offer you this advice.  SLOW DOWN.

At our funeral home, there’s no reason to rush. I cringe when we rush through a service at the request of a family and several days later, we are fielding phone calls from people who would have loved to attend the service, but had no idea the death occurred.  Let’s slow down.  Let’s do things right.  Let’s celebrate life in ways you’ve never dreamed of.

You’re loved one is worth it. Their life made an impact on the world.  Give me time to announce their service.  Give me time to help you honor them.  Give yourself time to process what has happened here.  I’ve seen MANY families regret moving so quickly.  But I can honestly say I have NEVER seen a family regret taking their time.

The more you hear my heart on various topics concerning the funeral industry, the more you will recognize this reoccurring theme. The funeral service, whether dealing with a burial or cremation, is the first step in the healing process.  We need to get this right.  And so I ask, What’s the Rush?

-Andrew